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God, please make me perfect: The unanswered prayer of a missionary kid

Okay fine. I never actually prayed those exact words. But boy did I pray for perfection. I prayed for perfection without realizing it or naming it. I felt this heavy burden, this sinister desire to be perfect. A perfect missionary kid for my parents, for my family’s support churches, for the mission, for people around me and especially for me.

What my skin color means: Seeing privilege and oppression on a Walmart run

I consider my skin color to be like my favorite coffee order, a Mocha. But if I’m being real with myself and with you, I’m probably more of a white chocolate mocha. I was born to a black mother and a white father. And on paperwork, I’d list my ethnicity as Pacific Islander, White, and Black. Or “Other” when I can’t choose all three. 

Searching for friends & making real connections

As a kid it seems so easy to make friends. You play with each other, talk, exchange stories, or share toys and voila! You’ve made a friend. On my first day of grade 1 in Seattle, Wa., I was nervous about going to school. Being a new kid, my first time in the states, it was scary and intimidating.

Sticking in like a sore thumb…

I’ve always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb, my whole life. Whether I was the only student in my class with an American accent or the only person of color in a room (Whether it be lighter than the rest, or a tad darker).

Hi, nice to meet you.

I’m Jodie. I’m from everywhere and nowhere. I am struggling with identity and who I am. I’m seeking connectedness with myself and with others. And I’m searching for a community of like-minded people.

Let’s chat!

If any of this resonates with you, if you have thoughts, ideas, or just talk, please reach out to me. I would love to hear from you!